in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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