Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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