everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
