Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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