I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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