smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
