You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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