We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
