The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize