What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Fuck appropriateness.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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