I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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