They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
