Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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