Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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