No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
