mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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