I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
