there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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