Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
