You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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