yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
