so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
