i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
