dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
