genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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