hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
