Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
