he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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