why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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