Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
