It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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