There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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