she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
