Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Randomize
