I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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