Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
