I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
