We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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