No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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