Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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