how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
