Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
