just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
