David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize