i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
