i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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