I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
