if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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