she was so not down for the gang bang
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
