He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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