You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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