Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
