i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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