Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
