My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
