just come out here and I will go home with you...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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